How To Please Yourself
What would happen if you started living your life the way you want to?
What if you quit listening to friends and family’s advice as to what’s best for you?
What if instead of trying to be what everyone else wants you to be, you followed your heart?
As a kid you try to please your parents because you want their praise. You soon figure out that if you do what they tell you, you get the things you want. But not so with friends. When another kid tells you to do something in the playground and you don’t want to….you simply say, “No, I don’t want to” or “No I don’t have to.”
Things change when you’re in high school. This is where the pressure really begins to meet others expectations. To conform, to fit in, to be liked, to be popular etc. You do things you don’t like just to please your friends. You may even be miserable….but you ignore your inner voice.
As high-school graduation time nears, friends and family ask you, “What college are you attending”, “what career path have you chosen? By now you’re so used to pleasing everyone that you just go with the crowd. You attend college because that’s what everyone does. You get a job, get married, get a mortgage because that’s what everyone does.
All along the way, you question and doubt your decisions. The sad thing is one day you wake up and wonder what the hell happened? You’re not happy with your job, your marriage, your life etc.
Their Reality Not Yours
Friends and family are full of opinions as to how you should live your life. Here’s the thing….it’s based on their life, their perceptions, and their experiences. How could they possibly know you well enough to dictate your life?
They don’t feel what you do, think like you do, walk in your shoes. They haven’t lived your life experiences, don’t have your values.
When you go to friends for advice, how often do they listen? I mean REALLY just listen, genuinely try to put themselves in your position? They hear you, but they relate what you’re saying to their own life experiences.
Listening – a lost art.
Heck sometimes people don’t even listen, but are quick to offer advice without knowing or fully understanding you. Families label us based on personality traits and give their advice accordingly. Well guess what? We change overtime. Who we were when we were kids is not who we are now.
Next time a friend or family member comes to you for help, listen to them. Then tell them that you are sorry for what they are going thru. But don’t tell them what they should do. Simply tell them that you don’t have a solution.
It may seem revolutionary but sometimes just having someone listen to us is all we need. Sometimes just getting it off our chest helps us to put it into perspective. It helps us figure it out and make our own decision. Which is as it should be!
You could spend your time trying to be everything to everybody, and no matter what, somebody will always disappointed.
At the end of the day the only person you need to please is yourself. Stop trying to meet everyone’s expectations and please everyone else. Be true to yourself, follow your heart….life is way too short to live it for others.